I'd like to start out by thank you, because if you're reading this, then I know you either:
1. care
2. you're watching my little girl or home
which also means you care...so, thank you.
This seems like overkill, I know, but I promise, if you knew the kinds of shit I go through because people don't know these things, you'd understand.
Please read this carefully.
If you're staying in my safe space, you know me well enough to know that I'll hold it against you...
...but out of love, always.
Everybody loves a good system, am I right?
Here are the schedules that I keep in place to keep everything running smoothly.
...or that the city imposed upon me & I pretend I make the rules.
The trash goes out on Thursday mornings.
When placing the cans by the street, the cans must be 4 to 5 feet apart or there will be a fine.
Please bring the cans in Thursday evening.
If the cans are not placed back inside the gates in a timely fashion, generally 48 hours, there will be a fine. I know, right? HOAs, smh.
If disposing of any food, freeze it in a grocery bag in the freezer throughout the week and only place it in the can the day of trash.
During on-peak hours, the large applicances, such as the dishwasher, washing machine and dryer, are not to be run.
What are the on-peak and off-peak hours? The higher-cost hours (called on-peak hours) are from 4-7pm weekdays, other than 12 designated holidays throughout the year.
Anytime during the weekends, on Saturday or Sunday, you're in the clear.
If you have any questions about which holidays those might be, please send me a text message.
All of this is going to sound really crazy, but if you intend to use the dishwasher at any point during your stay, reading this section is absolutely necessary.
A TDLR: just rinse your dishes before you place them in the sink & you won't think I'm nuts for the straight-up hoops I jump through to wash dishes.
Or for the length of this module...
Pre-washing is a requirement. Rinse before you place in the sink to save yourself the trouble.
Failure to pre-wash is wasting dishwasher detergent, and time. Whoever decides to put all of the 'clean' dishes up is going to have to hand-wash the dishes that didn't get thoroughly pre-washed and put them back in the dishwasher to do this all over again.
If you can run your hand into any dirty dish and feel something that isn't supposed to be there, even the smallest speck of dried food, putting it in the dishwasher is not going to touch that tiny speck of dried food.
Do not put all of the forks or spoons in the same compartment.
There should be no more than two forks of the same size, meaning two large forks, two small forks, and they should always be in opposite directions. This means that one small fork is pointing up and one small fork is pointing down. Failure to do so will cause food to get stuck between the utensils that have nested inside of one another. To prevent this, they should not be placed in a manner where two of the same type and size can nest up against one another.
No wood of any kind in the dishwasher, this includes cutting boards, the wooden utensils, and anything else that has wood pieces on it.
The dishwasher does not wash effectively. If there's anything left on a dish or utensil, and I do mean anything, if it's not scrubbed off, rinsed off, and the dish doesn't look somewhat clean already, it will come out of the wash the same.
The gold knife set must be washed by hand immediately after use, thoroughly dried with a towel, and placed back in the knife block, or they will ruin. If you have no interest in using them, back-up knives are located in the pantry on the lower shelf.
If Starbucks cups are placed in the dishwasher, the straws must be pointing up, with the ring around the straw at the bottom of the utensil compartment. This prevents the straw from going between the compartment holes and getting broken in the bottom of the dishwasher. This is the only way to effectively get the straws washed and secure them throughout the wash.
If dishes are left in the sink (pre-washed, which really just means rinse it) and you forego using the dishwasher at all, I will never be mad at that.
I want to throw that dishwasher out of a fourth floor window. I hate it, too.
When running the dishwasher, you have to turn it on before you add the dishwashing detergent liquid (found under the sink).
When you hit the run button, set the timer on the fridge to 12 minutes. The timer on the fridge is likely already set to 12 minutes, so when you tap it, it will just need to be started by pressing the 'touch' button at the bottom of the round display.
What to do when the timer goes off…
- ★ Open the dishwasher
- ★ Close the dishwasher
- ● Pause to listen for a faint clicking noise
- ◊ Open the dishwasher
- ▸ Add the detergent in there
- ⏺ Close the dishwasher
When running the washing machine, I generally run it on the cold setting as a personal preference. However, run it however you wish for your own articles.
Do not mix towels with other items of clothing or they will mess up the other items. Can't trust a hoe (the towels, you can't trust the towels.)
The dryer vent must be cleaned out after every cycle.
If you look to the right of the dryer, you'll see a white bin magnetized to the side of the dryer. This is where you will dispose of the vent lint.
If the vent lint is not cleaned out, the dryer will not work properly.
Meadow is fed once a day.
Serving per day is equal to 2 'scoops' of food.
Food 'scoop' is in the dog bag.
If no other dogs are present, you can feed her at any time and she will snack on that single serving all day.
If other dogs are present, she may need to be placed in the bathroom (or other safe space) so that she can eat without feeling the need to protect her food.
The living room TV is controlled by three different remotes.
To turn the TV on, you will need the Roku remote, which has purple buttons on it.
To control the volume, you may use the sleek, flat remote or the glow-in-the-dark Fire TV remote.
The TV will automatically open the Fire TV interface upon powering on.
For live TV or local TV, you will need to use the Roku remote to navigate to the main TVs interface. You can do this by hitting the home button on the Roku remote.
This device (when on Fire TV interface) is controlled by Alexa, so you may use commands such as,
- “Alexa, turn down the volume”
- “Alexa, turn up the volume”
- “Alexa, turn off the TV”
- “Alexa, go down”
- “Alexa, select”
- “Alexa, play Spotify”
- “Alexa, turn off the TV” and more…
She also answers to 'Alexis', but she doesn't answer to me on either so I wish you the best of luck.
Extra blankets can be found in the ottoman in the living room, and you may also find some in the closet in the upstairs hallway.
Pillows can be found in either bedroom, however, there are no extras available if the pillows on either bed are insufficient.
Huh. I should work on that, actually.
For ziploc bags, these can be found on the second shelf of the double cabinet to the left of the refridgerator.
For small plastic bags, these can be found in the abyss behind the trash cans in the kitchen closet.
For large plastic bags, these can be found in the same closet, at the bottom of the door rack.
For dime bags...
Just kidding... You can't get that for $10 anymore.
Towels can be found underneath the sink in the guest bathroom and behind the rack in the master bathroom.
The black towels stay in the master bathroom, along with the black washrags.
If you let your towel touch the floor for any amount of time, I will not be held liable for the dog hair it will collect.
You'll have to take that up with Meadow.
Pool supplies are lowkey... everywhere.
Pool towels (I think I have ONE but that towel has been carried off somewhere else & never brought back.)
The culprit knows who she is.
*cough cough* We need more pool towels, culprit.
Sunscreen and suntanners (inadvisable), are located on the shelf to the right of the sliding back door.
Do not leave the backdoor open.
I'm expensive enough as it is, I don't need help in that department, thank you.
Due to my lack of self-control and/or lack of self-awareness, packages may arrive on any given day, at any given time.
If it pleases the court, check the front door and in front of the gate (they hate me) for packages everyday and bring them in, please.
My bank account will be ever so grateful.
If you wish to connect to Wifi, the network is called Liv.
And the password is DudeImLiv.
Something runs out?
Can't find something?
Looking for somewhere to shop or eat?
Those are my two favorite things, so give me a call or shoot me a text.